Jun 29, 2011

Mosstock, the (second-most-important) celebrity wedding of the year!
Just two more days before Moss and Hince hit the altar, rumour has it that:
-Kate has hired a small team of transvestites to chaperone guests to the toilets and back to their seats. Most of them will be 6ft 5ins in their heels
-She's also having naked musclemen with fake tattoos on their backs and chests of Kate and Jamie's names and faces
-There will be a huge champagne glass set up in the grounds with a naked woman dancing in pink smoke, been there seen that
-There is an incredible trapeze artist who will strip as she does her act and Scottish pipers who'll play as guests are shown to their dinner seats, yawn
-Kate organised a box of dressing up clothes for their guests, prob all in size zero so push your luck and hold your breath
-Naomi Campbell is gonna be one of the bridesmaids, or the only bridesmaid as Miss Campbell is not up for any compitition ... 
-Snoop Dogg, Kanye West, The Rolling Stones and Beth Ditto are reportedly performing at the wedding. While John Galliano has been the name most rumored to be designing Kate’s dress
-Their gift list included 14 crystal ashtrays which cost £240 each and crates of 2002 Louis Roederer Cristal champagne at £1,833 each. Among the less-expensive items, the couple also asked for a rabbit-shaped jelly mould for £35 and a pair of tea strainers at £12.95
-Kate Moss will feed her wedding guests sausages and force them to look at photos of her
-Kate almost lost her engagement ring at Glastonbury. Everyone was looking for the ring, with Kate practically hyperventilating at the side of the stage. She was screeching at her mates, begging them to get down on their hands and knees, and trawl through the mud for the sparkler - which is obviously what Kate Moss’s friends are for. Later, she found the ring in her bag, stuck to a tissue
Tune in for more 'Mosstock' news later on!




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